Never fall in love with your best friend
by angel-of-heart
Summary: He's my best friend and he dates my sister. The problem...I love him and he hasn't got a clue. Take it from me...never fall in love with your best friend. KairixRoxas
1. Me, Him and my big Problem

Well, I'm still writing 'Popularity doesn't Matter' and I'm still working on the other fic. But once again, I've hit writers block. So to try and get the 'juices' following again, so to speak, I decided to widen my scope. I decided, after reading a brilliant Roxas x Kairi fic, I may try one myself. So here it is. It wont be a long one, perhaps a couple of chapters, but I hope you like it.

Disclaimer: I don't own Kingdom Hearts or Final Fantasy. Sadly, they belong to Disney and Square Enix. But one day they shall be mine! Muahahahaha! coughs Anyway…

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Chapter 1: Me, him and my big, bad problem

When I first met him on that dull morning, everything changed for me. You could say he became my first crush. But it wasn't to be, he fell for my sister.

Now I've become accustomed to seeing him with her, holding hands and 'making out' (thank you Selphie). And to make things worse, we've become what are called 'best friends'. Now any hope I ever had of there being a 'him and me' has vanished. But if being best friends with him is the only way I can ever get close to him, then I can live like that and die a fairly happy woman. But I can't get rid of the feeling of longing inside me: I long for him. When I see him with my sister, I always wish it was me in her place, me holding his hand, me running my fingers through his hair, me making him smile. But it never was. It was always her. It was always him and Namine.

They became the 'cute couple that lived next door to each other'. Destiny Islands resident lovebirds. And she never shut up about him. It was always 'Roxas this' and Roxas that'. Then I'd hear it off others. 'Namine and Roxas did this' or 'aren't Namine and Roxas so cute together'. And yeah, I was jealous. But he never knew all this. He never knew that I felt a slight hatred towards my sister because she was the one he chose, not me. He never knew that his best friend was in love with him.

XxXxX 

Since Roxas started dating my sister, we grew close. I saw him everyday. You could say we 'bonded'. That's when we became best friends. We hung out together when he wasn't with my sister. We became know as a dynamic duo. When he wasn't seen with Namine, he was hanging out with me at the park or doing random junk.

I guess I knew I was first in love with him when he gave me that necklace for my 16th birthday. That was two years ago next week. I've had a crush on him since we had met 4 months earlier. But him getting that chain threw it for me. I fell in love with him there and then.

We had been hanging out in the Destiny Mall all day. It was a week before my birthday and we had gone shopping because there was nothing else to do. Namine had been placed under house arrest until she finished his English assignment so he came with me. We had just left the bookstore as we walked past the Jeweller's. That's when I saw it. In my opinion it was the most beautiful thing I had ever seen. Sliver gold chain with a diamond encrusted heart. My breath was taken away.

"Wow," was all I could say.

"What?" Roxas asked as he looked over my shoulder. I pointed to the chain and he let out a whistle. "Even though I am all male, that's beautiful."

"Aww, letting out your feminine side are we Roxas?" I giggled slightly.

"Shut up you," he said, nudging me slightly.

"But it is beautiful." I then looked at the price and it was my turn to whistle. "150 muney! That's a whole months wages!" I sighed and turned away. "Well, some things aren't meant to be."

"Cheer up," he said as he wrapped his arm around my shoulder. I turned away so he couldn't see me blush. "Come on, I need you to help me buy a present for Namine's birthday." My blush faded as quickly as it had came. Jealousy stirred within me.

He dragged me around different shops, always asking my opinion on presents. As much as I love to spend this time with him, to hold his hand as he dragged me off around the stores, I couldn't help but feel a pit growing in the bottom of my stomach. He was doing this for him. It was going to be their 4-month anniversary the day before my birthday and he wanted to get her something 'special'. How I wished I were the one he was buying that present for.

He went back to the mall the next day and bought me that necklace, he told me. He said that I had looked at it with a sense of longing and he just had to buy it for me, regardless of the cost. I've only worn it a few times. On my last 2 birthdays, on his and really special occasions. I didn't want to ruin it. It was too special for that. It was because it was from him.

By now you probably think I'm some stalker chick who can't get enough of this one guy and does everything in her power to get close to him but it never works? Well, you'd be right and wrong at the same time. I'm not a crazy stalker chick, no matter what Selphie says, but I can't get enough of him and no matter what I do, I'm always seen as the best friend.

XxXxX 

That leads us to the present day. He's still with Namine and it's their 2-year anniversary in 6 days. I dread that day. Actually, I'm surprised they've lasted that long. With Namine's track record with boys, I wouldn't have placed my bet on 2 years. Its not that she's a tart or anything, its just that she's had difficulties staying with one person for longer than 3 weeks. But here we are, in 6 days it will be their 2-year anniversary and on the day after that, my birthday, but it also marks 2 years since the day I fell in love with him. And in those 2 years, I haven't plucked up the courage to tell him how I feel.

At the moment I'm sitting on the couch watching 'Full Metal Alchemist', Roxas' choice of course. Yet, my attention isn't on the television. My eyes keep wandering over to him, his attention solely on the television. He always got like this when he watched this. His dazzling blue eyes are glued to the set as the light illuminates his light chocolate brown hair.

God, I sound like a fan girl.

But something is different today. This time last year, he wouldn't shut up about how it was going to be his and Namine's 1-year anniversary in a couple of days. But now, when their 2-year anniversary is around the corner ((which I think is more important), he seems strangely quiet. This worries me.

"Roxas? Are you alright?"

"Hmm." I was taken back. Even though his favourite program was on, he always gave me a proper answer. What's happened to him?

"Are you sure?"

"Hmm." I sit up straight. Now I'm officially worried. Maybe I should send him round to Selphie's for a bit? Or maybe not. I'd never inflict that upon any male. Except maybe Tidus. But I suspect he's got a crush on her anyway.

I reached over and put the television on mute. Roxas turned to look at me, his forehead wrinkled.

"What was that for?"

"Tell me what's wrong and I'll turn the mute off."

"Nothing's wrong. Stop being paranoid." Well, that's a first. He's never spoken to me like that before. I fell back into the chair and didn't look at him. For some reason, I felt guilty for the way he was acting. I should have stopped pestering him. I should have left him alone. I looked at my feet. Anything but him. Then his hand went under my chin and made me look at him. I never heard him cross over from the chair.

A frown was placed on his face.

"Kairi…I'm sorry."

"You have nothing to apologise for. It's my fault. I shouldn't have asked."

"You're my best friend." My stomach churned as he said that. "I'm glad you're worried about me, if that makes sense. It means you care. And I shouldn't have bitten your head off. I've…just got a few things on my plate at the moment."

"You know that we're going to university in November, after we finish college?"

"Roxas, I thought we weren't going to talk about this, and you weren't going to worry about it."

"I'm not, its just…you know that I applied to Avalon University?" I gulped slightly. That university was in the south of Fate Island, which is 16 hours away. And it's in the south, which is even worse! "Well…I got in."

XxXxX 

Have you ever had a moment when you felt like the whole world was crumbling around you? Well, I had one of those about an hour ago. When he told me, I felt like the ground had given way. I knew he wanted to go there so badly, but I hadn't really thought about it. About what it would be like when he was gone. But in that moment, it felt like he had already left.

And now here I am, sitting alone on a swing in the central park. Roxas had left soon after he told me. I told him that I had to go to my grandmother's house.

I hate lying to him.

And I hate myself for the fact I love him so much.

I hate the way he's in love with my sister.

I hate the fact he's going to leave here.

And I hate the world for making my life so confusing.

Do you want to know who I am? What my life is like at the moment?

My name is Kairi Clarkson. I'm 17 and live with my 17-year-old sister, Namine. I attend D.H.C.C. I have a brilliant group of friends and an excellent best friend.

It may look simple, but it's far from it. This excellent best friend I told you about, well he dates my sister. The problem…I'm in love with him, and he doesn't have a clue.

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Well, what did you think? Hope you liked it. Read and review people. Adios x x x


	2. He's back

I'm glad people have taken an interest in this, and thank you. So, as a treat, plus I like the way this is going. I'm going to update the next chapter. And here it is.

Thank you to all of you who have reviewed: Arie Under Presure, XoZac-EfronOx, Kyuubi's Brother, Lucky Star 25, ScReAmofaBrOkEnAnGeL, Shirozora, x3.kAiRim kai-sora101.

Disclaimer: Do I have to say this again?

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Chapter Two: He's back

The day after Roxas told me he was leaving, I woke up at half 6, an hour earlier than I am meant to. Can you tell how in love I am with this guy? He causes me to lose sleep, and when that happens, its something serious. I guess I couldn't get used to the fact he was leaving. After two years we had become really close and the prospect of him not being there was a depressing one.

I got up and did the usual routine (do I have to explain?) and sat alone in the living room. It was only 7:15. Namine wasn't due up for another 15 minutes. I used the time to think. Maybe I should tell Roxas how I feel? But then there are so many complications. There's Namine to think of, she'd hate me. She really loves Roxas. Then there is the fact that he may not feel the same. This thought made me more depressed.

I sat there with my coffee in hand, letting it go cold. Time passed and Namine's footsteps could be heard coming down the stairs. I sat up and looked busy. I took a sip of my coffee and pulled a face. It had gone stone cold. _'Only you Kairi.'_ I put the cup on the table and Namine walked in.

"Morning," came her voice. "How come you're up so early? School isn't for another hour and a half."

"I couldn't sleep," I replied.

"How come?" _'I was busy thinking of how I could tell your boyfriend that I love him.'_

"Headache."

"Okay." Namine then disappeared off upstairs. I put my head in my hands and sat there staring at my feet. I hadn't spoken to Roxas since yesterday evening and I didn't really want to see him this morning.

'_Just faze him out of your life completely. He's taken. By your sister.' _I shook my head. God I hated those arguments that occur in the brain. _'Or you could just tell him. Then ruin everything.'_ Yeah, now it was time to get the paracetamol out.

XxXxX 

Its five minutes before we're due to leave and Namine is still doing her make-up. Honestly. I want to leave before Roxas shows up. Aren't I just the worlds best best friend?

"Namine! Get a move on!"

"Okay! Okay!" Then came the knock at the door. "Kairi! Grab the door!" I rolled my eyes and braced myself. I knew it was him.

Now comes the hard part: opening it. I could just leave it and pretend we had already left. But he knocks again. Damn him. Sighing, I pulled open the door and came face to face with him, his blue eyes boring into my lavender ones.

"Kairi!" I stood stock still, not knowing what to do. God, I hate myself.

"Hi Roxas," I say quietly, moving aside to let him in. He walks past me and stands by the couch as I close over the door. I feel his eyes on my back and I don't want to turn around.

"Why didn't you call last night?"

"Did I have to?"

"You said you would."

"I thought you would be chatting away to Namine and I didn't want to disturb you." I could hear the slight vicious tone in my voice. I didn't mean for that to happen.

"What's wrong?" _'I love you and its killing me.'_

"Nothing." I walk past him and grab my bag. The sooner I'm out of here the better.

"Kairi?" I don't look at him.

"Hmm?"

"There's something wrong isn't there? Tell me."

Now, if this was some Hollywood movie, this would be where the heroine decides whether to carry on acting as if the world is fine and dandy but stay secretly loving him and allowing it to kill her on the inside…or…she would end it here and now, severing all contact and basically tell him to get lost. And the moment has come. I have to decide.

It's kind of like the moment in Titanic when Rose is on the lifeboat and Jack is standing on the deck. The lifeboat get lowered and Rose has to either stay stuck in this boat and never see Jack again or jump back onto the ship and live happily with the guy she loves.

I guess I'm about to jump back on the Titanic.

"Nothings wrong Roxas," I said, putting on a fake smile and praying he cant see through it.

"Then why didn't you call?"

"I was busy. Besides, I heard Namine talking to you until all hours so its not like I could." I look at him and see him staring at me, his head tipped to the side slightly. God, he has no idea how cute he is when he does that.

"Hmm," was his reply. He gave me a lob sided grin and opened his arms, expecting a hug. But how could I, knowing what it would do to me. But I do it anyway. Like I said, if being friends with him is the only way I can get close to him then fine. These hugs are one of the perks. "You had me worried there for a moment."

"Why?" I say into his shirt.

"I thought you hated me."

"I could never hate you."

"Yeah. I couldn't get through these next few months without my best friend."

Now ladies and gentlemen, I would like to discuss those two words: best friend. This is what makes this situation 10 times worse. I love my best friend. But not only that, but this is all we'll ever be because I'm too much of a coward to tell him how I feel and face the consequences.

"Yeah," I simply say.

If only he knew what he did to me when he called me that.

XxXxX 

D.H.C.C

Or as many before me have called it…Hell on earth. I don't think its that bad to be honest. I go there to learn and that's all. Oh, and also to commune with fellow teenagers/adults.

My other best friend I have mentioned before: Selphie. She's like a packet of living jellybeans but that's why we love her. Gossip Queen and resident romantic nutter, she's the only person I feel like I can talk to. Now you're probably wondering why I would confess my secrets to a gossip queen. Well, she can keep some secrets, especially when it comes to me.

"Kairi!" Speak of the devil. Turning around, I see the brunette bounce right up to me and link my arm with hers.

"Hey Selphie."

"So…?"

"What?" I ask as she leads us to my locker.

"You said anything to him?"

"No. And I told you I'm not going to because I don't want anything to get ruined. Or anyone to get hurt."

"But you can't go on being his best friend and not telling him. Its cruel."

"Maybe so, but I just cant okay."

"Fine." She looked away and lent against the lockers. "So, want to hear some news?"

"Not really but I know you're going to tell me anyway."

"Right," Selphie said, acting as if she was going to give some great speech. "Newbie."

"And?"

"Tall. Handsome. Spitting image of Roxas." I stop putting my books in my locker and look at her, her face serious (which I will have you know is rare for Selphie).

"And?" I ask hesitantly.

"Its Sora."

I drop my history book.

Crap.

This problem just got a million times worse.

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Oooooo, why is Sora a problem? How come it's got a million times worse? You'll have to wait until the next chapter to find out. Muahahahaha. Sorry. Read and Review people. Adios x x x


	3. The Problem With Sora

I hate being ill. I'm off school one again. I hate my immune system. Its so crap. Anyway, whilst I'm off and I feel like I'll go crazy if I don't do something, I decided to update this fic.

Thank you to all those who have reviewed. And in response to a review about whether Sora and Namine might end up together, I don't know. I'm undecided if they do or not. And how come Kairi didn't mention Sora before? Well, you're about to find out.

Disclaimer: I don't own anything. Apart from the storyline and the computer that I'm using now. However, if I did own Kingdom Hearts, I would make Sora and Namine get together and Roxas and Kairi get together in numero 2. But sadly I don't. sniff

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Chapter 3: The Problem With Sora

Crap. Double Crap.

"S…Sora?" I say quietly.

"Yeah."

Okay, now is it possible to have a heart attack, brain shutdown and suffer a breakdown at the same time? Well, if not, I'm a medical marvel.

"Oh my god." I drop my bag onto the floor and stare at my locker.

By this point, you're probably wondering who Sora is. Well, lets just say its tricky. He's Sora's brother. Twin to be more exact and only 6 minutes older than Roxas.

And you're also probably wondering why I am reacting so badly to this news. It can't be that bad right? Well, WRONG!

That birthday, 2 years ago, when I knew I had fallen in love with Roxas, Sora said something to me. I had only known him 4 months but heck, I'd only know Roxas that long. When I was with Roxas, hanging out, Sora would be there too. We weren't friends to the extent Roxas and I were, but we got quite close and got along fairly well. Then on my birthday, Sora cornered me in my garden and confessed something to me.

He loved me.

Well, you can imagine my reaction. I was in love with Roxas who loved Namine who loved Roxas back whose brother was now proclaiming his love for me. And I had only just turned 16.

So it was a sticky situation that I didn't know how to get out of, not having a lost of past romantic experience and all that. So I just told Sora I didn't love him, I loved Roxas. BIG MISTAKE! So learn a lesson from this: Never tell a guy's brother that you don't love him, you love his brother. Make sense?

So, Sora feeling down and crushed by me, threatens to tell Roxas. That was something I didn't want to happen for obvious reasons. He was besotted with Namine as she was with him and I couldn't ruin that. So I asked him to keep quiet. He refused obviously, due to the fact I had kinda ripped out his heart and virtually ran over it with a steamroller.

But he didn't get the chance to tell Roxas anything. Their parents split a week later and Sora left to go to Fate with his father. Now he was back. And he had unfinished business he would probably want to finish.

I'm not even 18 yet!

"Kairi? You okay?" I was brought back to earth by Selphie who had just placed a hand on my shoulder.

"Oh god. What if he tells him? What the hell am I going to do?"

"Well, firstly, clam down because Roxas is coming this way. Second-"

"What?" I picked up my bag and threw my books in, slamming my locker shut.

"Kairi?" I spun around and come face to face with Roxas. "You okay?"

"Why didn't you tell me Sora was back?"

"I didn't think it really mattered."

"Well, it just would have been nice to know. I thought we were best friends."

"We are you idiot," Roxas laughed. God that laugh. Okay, stop there Kairi. You'll go off on one again. "Well, Sora's back and he's mentioned you a couple of times."

"Oh." I could feel nervousness creeping through my veins. "Anything else?"

"No, not really. He just asked how you were and if you were seeing anyone. To be honest, the way he kept asking questions, I kind of got the impression that he has a crush on you." And my stomach drops again. I look up at him but he refuses to meet my eye.

"Roxas?" He finally looks at me but doesn't smile. His face is serious and it worries me. "What is it?"

"Nothing." Then he turn's and heads off to Maths without me.

XxXxX 

I eventually caught up with him and he acted as if nothing had happened. Which annoyed me greatly. I wanted to know what made him react the way he did when he said Sora might have a crush on me. Then it stuck me. Well, hit me in the middle of a very bad headache. And I realised at the same time that I can be very slow.

Did Roxas fancy me?

Part of me said yes but part of me dismissed it. He didn't like his brother much so he could have just had a bad taste in his mouth. But maybe he didn't like the idea of Sora crushing on me because he was. But he always seemed so in love with Namine, so why would he crush on me?

God, men can be so complicated sometimes. So can life for that matter. There should really be a book about all this.

And what's the cause of this current headache? SORA! Why did he come back? He was hell bent on telling Roxas last time so what if he hasn't changed?

Crap.

What if he still loves me?

XxXxX 

"There wont be anything to worry about Kairi. Sora's been gone or nearly 2 years so I'm sure he'll have forgotten or got over you."

"I appreciate the fact you're trying to help me Selphie, but I'm not in the mood."

"Why not?"

"I'm just not." I moved the meat loaf around the plate with my fork. Who in their right mind would eat meatloaf? The only reason I got it was because I was too late for pizza.

"Well, your mood is most certainly going to get worse."

"Now why would that be Selphie? Because as far as I can figure, nothing can get be more worse than loving your sisters boyfriend and him not loving you back."

"Well, I'd disagree. Here comes your worst nightmare." I turned and groaned. Sora strutted over, a grin on the face, and he sat next to me. This wasn't how I imagined my Monday going.

"What do you want Sora?"

"Well, that's not how you should greet a friend after 2 years of no contact."

"There was a reason for that," I muttered.

"What?"

"Nothing." Sora raised an eyebrow.

"Anyway, how have you been?" It was my turn to raise an eyebrow. Had he just asked me, the girl who trod all over his heart, how SHE was doing?

"Erm…I'm okay thanks. You?"

"I'm alright. How's the university hunt going?" Okay, parallel universe?

"Alright. I've applied to a few but I haven't heard anything yet. It should be any day now. What about you? Are you applying for Avalon?"

"Nah. I had enough of living up near there with my dad. I'm thinking of applying for somewhere around here. Maybe Northern Destiny University." Silence. I don't know what to think. I thought he would still hate me. "So," he said in a whisper, leaning closer to me, "Do you still love Roxas?"

I knew it was too good to last.

"Why? It isn't any of your business."

"I think you'll find it is. One, he's my brother who is seeing your sister in case you have forgotten. Two, you refused to love me because you loved him. And three, I'm a nosey person." I rolled my eyes.

"Well one, I know he is dating Namine and he's your brother. Two, for the millionth time, I'm sorry I didn't feel the same way but you cant help who you fall in love with. And three, your last reason is stupid. If you're nosy you must be a gossiper, so that's less of a reason to tell you."

"So you're still in love with him then?" I stayed silent. "Fine." He stood up and looked at me. "And you're right. You can't help who you fall in love with." Then he walked off, leaving me to ponder. Selphie looked at me and took her headphones out.

"Well?"

"I…I think he still loves me." Selphie's eyes widened and it went silent between us.

"Bugger me." I raised an eyebrow at Selphie.

"You need to stop watching 'Titanic'."

"What are you going to do?"

"I don't know. I have to pray that Sora doesn't tell Roxas."

"Well, you could always beat Sora to it." I look at Selphie who is putting her headphones back in.

I hate it when Selphie's right. It always means trouble for me.

XxXxXxXxXxX

There you go, chapter 3. Hope you enjoyed. Read and Review people lol. Adios


	4. Its like a sinking boat

Nope. I'm not dead. Close to it maybe, but not dead yet. I'm sorry about taking forever to update lol. I've been on holiday in Greece (not the best of hols) and I've been doing extra hours at work to pay for driving lessons. Anyway, it's finally here. The next chapter. It isnt that long like, but I felt like I really needed to update this fic. So here's the fourth chapter.

A big thank you to all my reviewers. I love you all to bits.

Disclaimer: I think you've got the point by now.

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Chapter 4: Its like a sinking boat

So here I am sitting in Biology whilst the teacher goes on the brain and brain diseases. I know I should be paying attention but my mind wanders. Whose wouldn't when Mrs Burk is droning on about synapses? And I bet you can guess where it's wondering off to.

How did I get my self in to this situation?

'_You fell in love with your sisters boyfriend.'_

Great. Another mental battle. I was still thinking about what Selphie said too. Maybe it would be better if I did just tell Roxas before Sora did. It might be best. But then everything will be ruined. Namine will hate me, me and Roxas might not be friends afterwards and he might tell me he doesn't feel the same, something I never want to hear.

Seriously, why cant love be easy?

I vaguely hear Mrs Burk dismiss us and I stand up and grab my stuff. I walk out, not bothering to watch where I'm going. Then, in a typical high school cliché moment, I smack right into something and I'm sent to the floor. Stars appear in front of my eyes as I feel a weight on top of me.

"Oh god, I'm so sorry," said a voice. I feel a brush creep up my cheeks as I realise it's a male.

"Its ok. It's my fault anyway. I wasn't watching where I was going."

"Kairi?" I finally open my eyes and groan.

"Damn you Sora. Get off me."

"Hey, you said it. This is your fault."

"Then why did you apologise first? Now I said get off me. People are staring." He stood up and held out a hand to me. I roll my eyes and take it. "Next time watch where you're going Sora."

"Hey, you said it was your fault."

"I changed my mind."

"Too late. But don't worry, I forgive you."

"Get lost." I turn and walk away but sadly he catches up with me. Doesn't he get the hint? "I said get lost."

"No." I stop and turn to him.

"Why are you following me? Get over it Sora!" I shout, ignoring the looks from my fellow students. "I don't feel that way. After 2 years you should have got over it."

"But after two years you haven't got over him."

"He has nothing to do with this, Sora." I silence my voice slightly. "I don't love you. So get over it. You shouldn't still love me." He started laughing. This wasn't meant to go like this. I'm meant to have the upper hand. Damn you Sora.

"You think I still love you? Where did you get that from?"

"At lunch you said that-"

"You were right when you said that you can't help who you fall in love with? Yeah, but I wasn't referring to you when I agreed with you."

"You in love with someone else?"

"Don't sound so shocked Kairi. People can get over things. In my case, I got over you."

"Then who is it?"

"Yeah, like I'm going to tell you." He walked around me and headed towards the exit. "Oh, and by the way Clarkson, you might want to be nice to me from now on. I know your little secret." He winked at me and walked through the doors.

I was gobsmaked. No, I wasn't gobsmaked, I felt like I had been hit in the face with a wet fish then knocked down by a herd of buffalo. I wasn't shocked at the fact he was over me. I mean, who stays hung up on a person for 2 year? Except me of course. I'm the only one stupid enough to do it. I was shocked over the fact there was someone else and I couldn't figure out who it was. And also the fact that Sora came up with the idea to use my love for Roxas against me. He's not exactly the brightest crayon in the box.

XxXxX 

"So, let me get this straight…Sora doesn't love you anymore, he's falling for someone else but we don't know who it is. He still wants to use the Roxas thing against you though."

"Well done Selphie."

"So what are you going to do?"

"Doesn't that question ever get old?"

"Don't answer a question with a question. You're avoiding the point."

"How did you get so serious? Have we switched places or something?"

"Not as far as I know. I don't think we have." Yep, Selphie is still Selphie. I'm so glad I'm not totally loosing it.

"Anyway, I don't know. I mean, it makes more sense to tell him before Sora does. But problems it could cause…I don't really want to think about them. But if I don't tell Roxas and Sora does, then that leaves me in a sticky situation. But if I don't tell and Sora doesn't tell then things stay the way they are."

"But then it carries on eating you up inside."

"I've survived two years so it's all okay."

"But how much longer can you last?" I didn't reply. I walked out and didn't look back. The sooner I got home the better. I really needed some chocolate.

But, it wasn't meant to be.

I walked along the sidewalk, my mind trying to figure stuff out, and then I met the most unwanted site. Roxas…and Sora…alone together talking. Oh dear god.

Do you remember when I told you that I was going to be Rose who jumped back on the Titanic to be with Jack? I forgot the fact that the ship sank at the end.

And this problem is like a boat, and it's sinking faster than you can say rainbows.

**XxXxXxXxXxXxXxXxXxX**

Sorry it wasnt very long. But I hope you liked it. Read and review people. Adios x x x


	5. My Brain is Like a Giant Crossword

Well, here is chapter 5 in a long due update. Sorry its taken so long. But here it is. I'm sorry if you think that this chapter is too short. But trying to incorporate two chapters into one is a bit of a pain in the arse for me. So I'm spacing the plot ideas out. Hey, maybe them being short will keep you hooked :-S Forget that. Anyway, heres chapter 5.

Disclaimer: I dont own Kingdom Hearts. But If I did, there would've been more action between Kairi and Sora. I mean, they meet after a year and whatever and all they do is hug? He sees the drawing Kairi did in the secret place but he still doesnt make a move? I know they're only like 15 but come on.

XxXxXxXxX

Chapter 5: My brain is like a giant crossword

So now I'm walking/jogging towards Roxas and Sora. You may be thinking now 'God this girl is paranoid', and I'm going to say that I have to agree with you. Why I just don't quit and move away to Atlantica and live as a sea urchin I'll never know.

"Roxas!" I can't believe I'm doing this. "Roxas, wait up." They both look at me, Roxas has a slight frown on his face and Sora has his trademark cheesy grin.

"What is it Kairi?" Roxas snaps. Whoa, who got out of bed on the wrong side this morning?

"I was just wondering if you wanted to walk back home together," I said quietly as I caught up to them.

"Now's not a good time Kairi," and with that he walked off and left me with Sir I'm-a-gimp-a-lot.

"What did you say to him?" I said to Sora, anger flaring up inside me. "If you said anything to him-"

"Don't panic your pretty little head off. I only asked him why he wasn't with Namine. Take a chill pill Kairi. You're getting paranoid." Well done Sherlock, go ahead and state the obvious why don't ya?

"Then why is he in such a bad mood if that's all you asked?"

"How am I supposed to know?"

"Well, erm, let me think, YOU'RE HIS BROTHER!" A few passers by looked at us. An old lady actually stopped to glare at us. I bet 'god damn the youth of today' was running through her head.

"Once again I recommend a chill pill Kai." I roll my eyes and storm after Roxas. "Hey, where are you going?"

"To find out what's wrong with my best friend." I didn't hear what he said next. I just needed to find Roxas.

XxXxX 

The beach. My most favourite place on the entire Island. I come here to think, try and sort my mind out. Unfortunately, of late it has been failing miserably. I share this place with him. So its not surprising that when I turned the corner I found him sitting on the dock, staring out to sea.

I feel so guilty. I don't even know if I have anything to do with his bad mood, but for some reason, I felt like it was my fault.

I gradually walk over to him and seat myself next to him.

"So?"

"So what?"

"Aren't you going to tell me what's made you so mad all of a sudden?"

"I'm not mad."

"I know you better than that. Do you expect me to believe that? I'm your best friend. I think I know when something is wrong."

"Yeah, my best friend."

For some reason, hearing those words in the way he said them had a profound effect on me. It was if it was final. There could never be a me and him. It would always be a strictly 'best friends' relationship between us. And with that, I felt my heart gradually being to break whilst I was sitting on that dock.

"I can tell you anything, cant I?"

"Of course," I say quietly.

"Its about Namine."

And I just so desperately want to hear about her right now don't I?

"What about Namine?"

"Have you noticed anything about her lately? I mean, has she been acting strange?"

"Well…I don't know. I mean, yeah, she's been quieter than usual, but I haven't thought about it that much to be honest."

"Well, since I mentioned to her in passing that there might have been a possibility that Sora was coming back-"

"Why didn't you give me warning?"

"Like I said, it was said in passing. It just came up. Anyway, since I mentioned it to her, she's been acting weird. Well, distant is more suitable. And when she saw him this morning, she went really quiet all of a sudden and wouldn't look at me."

"Don't worry about it. It might just be…erm…how can I put this?"

"Yeah, that time of the month." I can't believe I'm talking about THAT with Roxas of all people. "But I don't think it is. She's gone weird ever since I've started mentioning him again."

Now, with the hectic 'I love Roxas' situation taking over most of my brain and this brand spanking new information pushing its way in, I would've expected a brain overload. But for some reason, things kind of slipped into place. Its like filling in a wordsearch, when you have the extra information, you just fill in the gaps. So picture my brain as a giant wordsearch if you will. I had information already floating around, but none of it went together, but now I had that extra bit of information, everything slotted in, like words in a wordsearch. Why can't I just simplify things?

But the one thing that stood out was Sora and Namine. Why did Namine act so weird as soon as she heard Sora was coming back? Then I thought about Sora's words.

"_You were right when you said that you can't help who you fall in love with? Yeah, but I wasn't referring to you when I agreed with you."_

My hands gripped the pier. Was Namine cheating on Roxas with Sora? Did Sora love Namine?

One thing was sure, Sora had a hefty butt kicking coming his way.

XxXxXxXxXxX

Well, what did you think? Good? Bad? Want me to update? Then review. Catch ya later XxX


	6. This Ship has finally Sunk

I beg for your forgiveness. I'm really sorry about the lack of updates. I've been bust with college and university applications and crap at home. But heres an update. And hopefully more will come on a regular basis. And as for 'Popularity doesn't Matter', that will be updated tomorrow or tuesday. Thank you all so much for your patience. Anyway, enough with the unwanted waffle, heres chapter 6 of 'Never Fall in Love with your Best Friend'.

**XxXxX**

Chapter 6: This ship has finally sunk

I didn't have the heart to tell Roxas what I though was going on. He seemed so besotted with Namine all the time, I couldn't bare to see him heart broken. So I kept it to myself. I was a master at that now as I had kept my love hidden for 2 years.

So for the next 2 days, I kept it all inside. But every time I saw Namine and Sora talking or walking together, I felt an anger flood through me. How could she cheat on Roxas? How could she be prepared to break his heart?

Okay Kairi, calm down. You still don't know the facts. It was time for me to go detective!

And I also need to stop hanging around with Selphie so much.

So its decided. I wont tell Roxas anything until I find out if there is anything going on between Namine and Sora. That sounds like a good plan. And I know the perfect person to help me with this.

XxXxX 

"What?!"

"Come on, Selphie."

"No! I cant spy on Sora and Namine."

"Keep your voice down. And it wouldn't be spying exactly. Its more like…keeping an eye open for them when they are alone together and seeing if they do anything that friends shouldn't do."

"Still spying Kairi. You're really not good at this."

"Thanks Selphie. But I really need your help."

"Why is this seeming more and more like Big Brother?"

"Selphie!"

"Fine, fine. The things I do for you Kairi. When you and Roxas get married I demand to be Maid of Honour."

"Fine, you can-What?!"

"Never mind Kairi. So all I have to do is keep an eye open for them?"

"Yes."

"Cool. Operation 'look out for blondie and Sir I'm-a-gimp-a-lot' commences." I groan and smack a hand to my forehead. Oh to be that sea urchin.

XxXxX 

Wednesday. 4 days to go until I turn 18 and 3 days until their anniversary. 3 days is all I have to see whether Namine is cheating with Sora. I think I'm going a bit to far with this, but I don't want to see Roxas heart broken.

Selphie has been a great help. In just a day, she found them walking along the beach together. Okay, maybe that doesn't signal that they're doing the 'naught monkey dance' together (Selphie analogy, not mine), but it still stirs up some questions. Like why the hell is Namine walking along the beach with Sora when she's only ever done that with Roxas? Except when me and her were kids, but it stopped when Namine fell into the hole I was digging. It's a long and embarrassing story and I'm forgetting the point here.

So, here I am, Wednesday morning, standing at the bottom of the stairs waiting for Namine and Roxas and Sora are sitting on the couch. And the tension in the room is oh so high. Roxas and Sora aren't taking, Namine is making us late (no change there then) and I'm drifting off into random day dreams where me and Roxas are married with lots of children.

"So…" Sora says. He's trying to break the silence but it clearly isn't working. All he gets is a glare off Roxas. "What's your problem?" Oh joy to the world, here we go again.

"Nothing. What's your problem?" As much as I love him, that retort was as good as Selphie's singing. (Not at all good in case you didn't get my point.) Sora starts laughing.

"Nice come back, bro. Cant you do any better?" And now Sora is asking for trouble. This proves he deserves the Sir I'm-a-gimp-a-lot nickname I gave him. I came up with it whilst watching King Arthur. The one with Kiera Knightley, and I'm going off the point again.

"I'm not in the mood Sora," was Roxas simple reply.

"Because you know you cant beat me." I saw Roxas' fists clench. "Hit a nerve?" Hell yeah he has. Roxas and Sora had this thing about competing against each other. Roxas had never managed to beat Sora at anything and Sora liked reminding him about that.

"Shut it."

"What if I don't want to?" Great. Its not even 9 o'clock and they're starting a fight. Sora stands up and I stop leaning against the handrail. Last time they got into a fight, a vase was broken and my mum flipped. I do not want that happening again. Its was over 2 years ago but my mum still hasn't got over it. Roxas followed suit and stood eye-to-eye with Sora.

"Erm, guys, lets just forget about this," I say as I walk up to them. "Now is not the time for a fight of the ego's."

"Aww, is your best friend saving you from a butt kicking Roxas? How cute."

"Don't you dare, Sora," Roxas spat.

"Come on you two. That's enough. We have to get to school." I hear Namine coming down the stairs. Oh fab.

"Here comes your girlfriend. Don't want her to see you getting you ass kicked." Sora bent down and picked up his bag. Roxas steps towards him but I force him back.

"Get lost now, Sora," I tell him. "There will be no fighting in this house."

"Whatever." He grabs his bag and walks out.

"Jerk," I mutter.

"Totally." I turn and look at Roxas, he has a slight smile on his face. "Such a tosser. I cant believe I'm related to him." I laugh slightly.

"Where's Sora gone?" We turn and see Namine at the bottom of the stairs. I was having a moment with Roxas there, didn't she notice? And she doesn't even say hello. The nerve.

"He's went to school. And good morning to you too Namine." I look back at Roxas. What a week for firsts. He's never spoken to Namine like that. Usually he's all lovey dovey. Maybe they're on the rocks. I mean 2 teenagers for 2 years, it can get pretty dull after the honeymoon period is over.

"Hey Roxas." She walks over to him and pecks him on the cheek. Not the usual kiss on lips. Erm, parallel universe anyone?

"Whatever. Lets just go." Now, this is just wrong. When did I enter a worm hole?

XxXxX 

"So, any more news?"

"Kairi, you're obsessed. Its only lunch time. They've been in lessons. I think you need to take a break."

"I cant."

"Why not?"

"If Roxas found out that Namine was cheating and I knew then he'll hate me."

"But she might not be."

"I know but-"

"Listen Kairi, I'm telling you this because I'm your friend and I think you need to chill on this whole Roxas thing. Either tell him and get it out in the open, or forget about him. Its been two years. You'll be going to university in 2 months. Maybe you should just erase him out your life for good."

"I…I…"

"Think about it Kai. It might be for the best."

Damn you Selphie. You choose your moments to have a point.

XxXxX 

The day is finally over, thank the heavens, and I'm on my way to my locker. Nothing strange happening, at least I hope so.

History book, Maths book, Spanish books (got no idea why I took that) and English crap. I'll be busy tonight. Closing my locker, I turned around and headed towards the exit. Then I hear voices.

Now if I were a normal sane person I would probably turn around and ignore it. But due to the fact I can be very nosey, I decide to eavesdrop. Good think I do.

"Listen Namine, why don't you just leave him?"

"I cant."

"Why not?"

"I love him."

"But you say you love me. You cant love the both of us."

"I know you don't like your brother, but I don't want to break his heart."

"That's going to happen anyway. Sooner rather than later is best."

"I don't know."

"Listen Nami, tell him. If you love me like you say you do then do it for me."

"But do you love me Sora?"

"I have to tell you something. Its about Kairi."

"What about her? She doesn't matter in this."

"She kind of does. The thing is. She loves Roxas. And she has for the past two years."

"What? She loves my boyfriend? My own sister?"

I turn and leave. Damn my noseyness. Well, at least now I know that there's something going on between Sora and Namine. But now she knows I love Roxas. Crap.

This ship has finally sunk.

**XxXxX**

Well, what did you think? Read and Review people. Adios x x x


	7. She knows everything

Hope everyone had a happy holiday, even though it isnt over yet. I decided that since I've neglected my fics for a while I'd update. Plus my brain is hurting from revision. So here it is, an update lol.

Thank you to everyone who has reviewed this fic. Its great to know that so many of you enjoy reading it.

Disclaimer: I dont own Kingdom Hearts or Final Fantasy. They belong to the lucky buggers at Disney and Square Enix.

XxXxXxXxXxX

Chapter 7 - She knows everything

I'm walking home and its starting to rain. But do I care…No.

I cant believe that twerp told Namine. I could kill him. Kill him and then raise him from the dead just so I could do it all over again. I hate him.

Well, Namine is going to hate me now. But she loves Sora. That's all the proof I need. But is Roxas going to believe me or the love of his life?

Somewhere, very deep, deep, deep, deep down inside of me, I feel a tiny pang of sympathy for Namine. She's torn between two people that she loves. But how long has she loved Sora for? Did she just fall for Roxas because he was a replacement? That tiny pang of sympathy goes when I think about Namine using Roxas. All this is getting so complicated.

I stop outside the café that me and Roxas love. Its still raining and I'm drenched. I decided to go inside and grab a coffee. I need time to sit and think.

Sitting at the usual table, I order a coffee and a doughnut. With my head in my hands, I try to think of a battle plan. The most obvious think is to tell Roxas. But then he might not believe me and hate me for it. Then again, he might listen and split up with Namine, and at the same time, give his brother a very bad beating.

The other option is that I don't say anything to him. The relationship could carry on and he remains oblivious to Namine's other feelings and she gets over Sora. Or she might tell him herself and he will dump her but hate me because I knew but didn't say anything.

"Here's your order Kairi." I look up and see Sam standing there with my food and a sympathetic look on his face. "What's wrong?"

"Its nothing."

"It must be something because you look like a depressed rat that's tried to drown itself."

"Thanks for that analogy."

"Where's Roxas? It seems strange seeing one without the other."

"I don't know. I think he went home."

"Tell me what it is Kairi." I look at him as he sits down opposite me. I have to tell someone. I need help.

"You cant tell a soul what I'm about to tell you. Promise me."

"I promise." I take a deep breath.

"I'm in love with Roxas." Sam just stares at me. Okay, not the reaction I was expecting.

"Yeah. And?"

"What do you mean 'and?'?"

"Its so obvious. I mean, you two are like joined at the hip. It was inevitable that this would happen between you two. Shame that he's with Namine." I bang my head on the table. "Mind the woodwork."

"I don't know what to do."

"Tell him."

"It isn't that simple."

"Why not?"

"You know Roxas' brother, Sora?" Sam nodded. "He's back in town and Namine has fallen in love with Sora. Its most likely she was in love with him before he left but he wasn't interested then. He had his heart set on someone else. So she fell in love with Roxas, but secretly not forgetting about Sora. So when he turns up again, all the old feelings come back. Now, with Roxas and Namine's 2 year coming up, Namine has told Sora she loves him but she still loves Roxas too. Now Namine knows I love Roxas and she's probably going to hate me forever. Well, that's my 'theory' anyway."

Silence.

"Holy banana's. No wonder you look depressed." Sam and Selphie should be related. "But this is just a 'theory'."

"Yeah, but from everything I know, this is probably what's happening." Sam raised his hand.

"Sally, get me a coffee and an espresso for Kairi. Actually, make that last one a double." Sam turned back to me. "So, what is it your worried about?" I let out a short laugh.

"Haven't you been listening? I'm worried about what Sora might do next, what Namine is going to think and how Roxas might react if he finds out about all this." I bang my head on the table one again. "I'm having a life crisis and I'm not even 18."

"Listen Kairi," Sam said to me as Sally put down the cups. "I think you need to tell Roxas before it spirals out of control."

"Why does everyone say that? I cant tell my best friend I love him when he's in love with my sister!"

"Can you see any other options?"

"Yeah. Let it carry on and watch what happens." I gulp down the espresso, I burns my throat but I don't care. "I have to go. I should speak to Namine."

"Fine. But I still think-"

"That I should tell Roxas, I know. Wish me luck Sam."

"I think you're going to need more than luck."

"I know. I just didn't want to voice that fact out loud. It kind of removes what hope I had of coming out of this unscathed."

XxXxX 

I feel like I'm waiting for a bus. And in this oncoming bus is an executioner coming to hack my head off with a blunt axe.

In other words, I'm sitting on the couch, staring at a blank television screen and I'm waiting for Namine to get back and murder me. Isn't life fun?

I hear a car pull up outside. I look out the window and see a taxi and Namine getting out. I sit back down on the couch and she walks in. She dumps her umbrella down. Her eyes then meet with mine.

"What are you doing here?" I notice a venomous ting to her voice.

"I live here too."

"Wish you didn't," I hear her mutter. Cow.

"Where have you been?"

"None of your business."

"Ah, I should've guessed. Been with Sora have you?" She straightens up and looks straight at me. "No retort?"

"I know."

"Know what?" Feigning innocence. You idiot Kairi.

"About you and Roxas."

"There isn't anything between me and Roxas."

"You know what I mean. You love Roxas, even though he's with me."

"What does it matter? You don't love Roxas anymore. You cant. You love Sora." Namine's mouth thinned, but only for a moment.

"Don't be stupid Kairi."

"So you didn't mean it when you said to Sora that you loved him at the end of school today?" She didn't reply. "Your 2 year anniversary with Roxas is in 3 days in case you hadn't noticed, yet you're saying 'I love you' to the wrong person. Do you love Roxas?"

"Yes, but-"

"There are no buts Namine. You cant love them both. You have to chose."

"What if I don't want to? If I let Roxas go, then you'll get him."

"But you'll have Sora."

"No, Kairi. I may love Sora and he may say that he loves me but he never will. It will always be you! If I let Roxas go, it'll be you and him in the end. And yeah, maybe I will be with Sora, but he'll never get over you."

"Has he-"

"He doesn't need to tell me anything Kairi. I may not be the brightest person but I'm not dumb. The way he looks at you, the way he acts around you. Every time I tell him I love him or bring the subject up, he changes it or ignores what I said. And I know what happened on your 16. I saw you two in the Garden. Yeah, I had said to Roxas I loved him, but I knew I could never have Sora. And I was right, wasn't I? In the Garden, he told you he loved you, didn't he? I could tell. It was so obvious. But you turned him down, and I never bothered to think about why. I just thought you didn't love him and that was it. But now I know. I cant let Roxas go. I cant lose both of them to you."

"You wont lose Roxas to me. He loves you."

"I can tell Kairi. He doesn't. Well, not as much anymore. When he found out which university he was going to, he realised he didn't want to leave this place. He had something to stay behind for. And it isn't me."

"We're just friends. Haven't you wondered why I haven't said anything? Nothing could happen between us and he loves you."

"No. I love him still. As much as I did when I first said it, even more. But I love Sora just as much too."

"Then decide Namine."

"No! Because either way I still lose to you and I wont let that happen!"

"But you'll end p breaking both of their hearts instead of just one! Which is better Namine? To love and be loved in return, or love but be hated by those you care so much about?"

"Don't you lecture me on this!"

"Namine. You have to decide. Roxas or Sora?" Namine is silent. Well, my theory was spot on, Selphie will be proud.

"Why didn't you tell me you loved Roxas?"

"Because you were with him."

"You should've told me."

"Maybe. But I couldn't. Things were…comfortable. It seemed daft to ruin it all."

"But you love him."

"My image of true love being perfect when down the toilet 2 years ago. When I fell in love with Roxas, I realised there was no going back. Maybe it isn't the perfect, ideal true love, but its buried so deep inside me now, I don't want to let go." Namine walks over to the phone, picking it up. "What are you doing?"

"I need to talk to Roxas." I scramble past the couch and try to reason with her. "I cant keep this up anymore, loving two people. Two brothers. And you…he deserves to know."

"Namine, please. Things are fine the way they are. Just give yourself time to figure stuff out and then I'll be there to give my shoulder to whoever needs to cry on it."

"No, Kairi." She dials the number and I wait. He's not meant to find out, especially over a phone. "Hi, Roxas. Its Namine. Yeah, everything's fine. Listen, I need you to come round. We have to talk."

Crap and double crap. Oh dear god help me. I think my brain is about to burst. Is there a doctor in the house? Because I, Kairi Clarkson, am going to need one by the time tonight is over.

XxXxX

Hope you enjoyed that. Read and Review. Adios.


	8. Broken and Numb

Sorry for the lack of updates...on everything. I've been busy with exams and life and...everything. So I'm trying to update all my favourite stories so that I won't be maimed by my reviewers and readers. Sorry if this seems kinda short. But the chapters hve been written for about 5 months and I'm kind of umwilling to change them in case I ruin the flow of the story becuase it has been a while since I last looked at them. But if this chapter is unliked, I'll re-write it and the rest of the chapters and post them up soon. There are only (at the moment) just 2 chapters left of this story. So this is the beginning of the end. Heres chapter 8.

Disclaimer: I dont own anything bar the plot. I tried buying Sora and Roxas from Squre Enix but they wouldnt let me have them. Apparently they dont do I.O.U's.

XxXxXxX

Chapter 8: Broken and Numb

I should have left. I still have a chance. I can get away and wait until this blows over. But no. I haven't moved.

Namine phoned Roxas and he said he was coming over. Then I sat on the couch and haven't moved since. Most definitely an idiot.

So here I am, Namine sitting opposite me, and we're waiting for Roxas. I have no idea how I'm going to handle this situation. I wish this is a nightmare and I'm going to wake up before Roxas gets here.

"What do I do after this?" I look up at Namine, her head is in her hands.

"What do you mean? What am **I **going to do after this? My best friend is about to find out that I've loved him for 2 years."

"My boyfriend is about to find out I love his brother but I still love him."

Yeah, she wins.

"Just tell him straight out. It's the easiest way."

"How did I get myself into this situation?"

"You cant help who you fall in love with." My heart beats increasing. Its either nerves or anticipation. Roxas is going to know.

'knock knock'

Oh dear god. I'm going to need a miracle. Namine stands up and smoothes down her dress. She walks to the door and rests her hand on the snip. She breaths in and opens the door. Roxas takes off his hood and steps in. The way he looks. That warmth in his eyes makes me fall in love with him all over again. But I know that in a matter of minutes, that warmth is going to be shattered.

"What's wrong Namine? Kairi?"

"Sit down Roxas," Namine says. I move over and make room for him on the couch.

"There's something wrong, isn't there?"

"I need to tell you something Roxas." That pang of sympathy I felt for Namine before in the café has come back even greater. She's torn between two loves and she's got to tell her boyfriend.

"You're worrying me Namine."

"Its about Sora." I see anger flicker across Roxas' face.

"What's he done now?"

"Its not just him…its…its me too." Roxas moves back slightly, confused. "You see…I…I…" I see she's about to cry. I feel like I shouldn't be here. "I…I love him."

I'm sure I heard Roxas heart break. He doesn't move, he doesn't blink, its like he's frozen.

"But-"

"Please, Roxas. I love you, so much, please believe me. I just…I love him too. Its hard to explain-"

"It isn't," Roxas whispers. "Just tell me, how long?"

"Since he left."

"So you led me on, all this time?" I could hear the anger rise in his voice.

"No, never. I love you."

"You cant love us both."

"I can. But I'm not the only one."

"What?"

"I'm not the only one that loves you." Crap. Now its my turn. "Ask Kairi." I cant look at him. I feel his eyes on me but I cant face him.

"Kairi?" he whispers. "What does she mean?" The finale. Judgement day. Armageddon.

"I…I love you." I feel the weight on the couch lessen. He's standing up.

"I…" Your killing me Roxas. I look at him as he walks out the door into the rain, not bothering to pull his hood up.

"Kairi." I ignore my sister. I'm in a tank top and sweatpants and slippers but I don't care. I run out into the rain after him.

"Roxas!" He ignore me and keeps going. "Please Roxas!" No answer. "Why are you ignoring me?" He stops and I run straight into him. He doesn't make a move. Broken. "Roxas," I whisper.

"Why didn't you tell me?"

"I couldn't."

"We're best friends."

"That's just it. Best friends. I couldn't risk that. I couldn't tell you and risk losing you."

"But still, I would've understood." I let out a shot laugh.

"Your best friend would've just told you she had been in love with you for the past 2 years."

"2 years?"

"But you love Namine. My sister for Christ's sake." I didn't think it would be this hard. Love seems so simple. It can be the greatest thing in the world or it can cause the greatest amount of pain. "I couldn't do that to her, to you, to me. I couldn't tell you and then risk losing you. It would've been too hard."

"And it isn't now? Didn't you think about how I would feel?"

"Of course I did, I-"

"No. You just thought about what it would be like for you. It takes two to tango Kairi. There's always someone else, you just didn't bother thinking about me."

"You don't understand, Roxas."

"Of course I don't!" I knew he'd hate me. It's all over. "My best friend, someone I trust so much, doesn't bother to tell me she's in love with me."

"Roxas! I'm in love with my best friend who loves my sister! That's why I couldn't tell you!" This is too complicated. I feel the tears in my eyes. The more this conversation goes on, the more I realise he probably doesn't love me back. "I love you! I love you! I love you! Please Roxas."

"I cant." A tear rolls down my cheek. "I cant do any of this right now."

"Roxas."

"I'm sorry, I cant."

He turns away.

He doesn't love me.

As he walks away, I feel like he's taken my heart with him, only for him to throw it away.

He doesn't love me.

The rain. I cant feel it anymore. So numb as the tears wont stop coming.

He doesn't love me.

"_I cant."_

He doesn't love me.

He's gone and my heart is broken.

He doesn't love me.

XxXxXxX

Sorry for the late update again. Read and Review. Adios.


	9. The Aftermath

As much as I am eager to seek forgiveness for the constantly late updates when I say I'd update soon, but I have a valid reason as to why they're late. My old comp basically broke down on me. It caught a Trojan virus thing and it kind of destroyed my comp. This meant that I had to buy a new one. But as I couldn't transfer my files from my old one to my new one, everything was lost. I had written up to the end of this story, so I kind of know where I'm going. But I have had to rewrite the last two chapters of this and the last two chapters of Popularity doesn't matter, along with the first few chapters of the latter's sequel. So I'm sorry that my anti-virus software is about as helpful as bad advice. So if some things seem out of place, forgive me. This chapter was a rush job so until I can get everything sorted, I hope this is good enough.

Disclaimer : I don't own anything sadly, apart from the plot.

XxXxX

Chapter 9 – The Aftermath

If this is what depression feels like, then just kill me now. I haven't seen Roxas in two days. His anniversary with Namine is tomorrow and he hasn't been seen since Namine told him about Sora. Hell, we don't even know if this anniversary is still going ahead. They haven't said to each other they're splitting up, but from the looks of it, it seems to be a silent, mutual ending.

But that's not what's depressing me. He won't return my calls. When I go to his house, he is never in. I've taken to eating at least 4 tubs of ice cream a day and numerous packets of crisps. I haven't seen Sora either. But I am not complaining about that.

I wish this had gone differently. Or not at all. I'm not bothered which.

My best friend hates me. He doesn't love me. God I hate those 4 words in the same sentence. I didn't want to hurt him. Far from that. I thought I was protecting him. And yeah, me at the same time, I admit it. But its not like I thought about me and only me. If I had done that I would have told him a long time ago.

Namine is…well…strange. Its like she's in limbo. She hasn't heard from Sora or Roxas. And even if I do feel slightly sorry for her, I blame her for all of this. She deserves to be broken like this. She cant have both of them. She cant love both of them. Life cant be perfect like that. And its her fault me and Roxas are like this. She just had to tell him didn't she? She just had to. She couldn't help but bring me down with her. If she couldn't have Sora or Roxas, then neither could I.

That brings me to this moment. I'm sitting in the café, drinking free coffee from Sam because he feels sorry for me. I'm not complaining. I get doughnuts too.

"It'll work out in the end," Sam says as he puts another doughnut in front of me and sits down. "Roxas just needs time to get his head around things."

"But its like he's just fallen off the face of the earth. I can't talk to him, he's never at home and he hasn't contacted me. I just…I feel so bad. Doesn't he realise what he's doing to me too?"

"Hey, his girlfriend has just broken his heart and walked all over it and his best friend has just turned around and told him she has loved him for the past 2 years. It's a lot to get your head around."

"I love the way you're so blunt," I say sarcastically. Sam just shrugs his shoulders and goes off to serve someone else. With my head on my arms, I try to not cry. The bell on the door jingles, signalling someone else coming in, but I don't care. I reach for my coffee but I stop. My heart beat increases ten-fold and I sit up.

He's there. Standing in the door way, looking at me. I stand up and he doesn't move. He looks so rough. He comes towards me and stands on the other side of the table.

"Roxas."

"Don't, Kairi. I've just came to say I'm leaving for Avalon early. I wont be here for graduation…or your birthday. I just felt like I had to say goodbye."

"You cant."

"Its for the best."

"You just cant go and expect everything to right itself." As much as I love him and feel sympathetic towards him, I want him to feel my pain. "You ignore me for 2 days after I open my heart out and then show up and say 'goodbye, I'm off, I'm not sorry for crushing your heart'. You cant do that Roxas. It isn't fair."

"It isn't fair? What about me?"

"What about me?!" Terrific, I'm making a scene in the café. "Do you know what you're doing to me?"

"Sorry." The tone of his voice kills me. I cant take it anymore. I lift my coat and push past him. I leave, not looking back. The hot tears fall down my face. Its raining again. My coat doesn't leave my hand as I don't bother putting it on.

The sensible, 'I-except-reality' part of my brain tells me to get over it. He's moving to Avalon and he doesn't love me. But the part of my brain that dreams, and my heart, is telling me not to let go. Its been too long to forget.

God damn it. Why did things end up like this?

XxXxX 

"Kairi, are you okay honey?"

"Yeah mum," I lie. She gives me a worried look as she takes another glance at my damp clothing.

"I'm worried about you Kairi. And Namine. And Roxas too. Is something going on between you three?"

"Everything is fine mum. It's the stress of finding a university."

"Oh, there's a letter for you on the side. I think its from the Destiny Art University." My breath catches in my throat. I've been waiting for that letter for so long. Destiny Art University is the best university for art on any of the islands.

I walked to the coffee table and picked up the envelope. My hands were shaking.

"Right. Namine is shopping so she should be back soon. I'm going to get the shopping for the week. I'll be back in about two hours." I murmured to my mum and lifted the envelope. I heard her go out the door then a knock 5 seconds later. I left the envelope on the table. I'm not sure I'm ready to open it yet.

I open the door and anger floods through me.

"Sora."

"We need to talk."

"No we don't." I try to close the door but he sticks his foot in the way. He's known for putting his foot in it now.

"We do. Roxas is leaving and you need to stop him." I loosen my grip on the door in shock and he steps in. "I take it he's told you from the look on your face."

"Yeah. He found me at the café."

"You cant let him leave like this."

"Excuse me? None of this is my fault. Its all yours and Namine's."

"He's more upset over you." Now I'm really confused.

"Why would he care? Its not like he feels the same way."

"Your still his best friend." I stayed silent. "Listen, I know we don't get along that well, but you need to talk to him."

"I cant, every time I do, its ends up one of us walking away. He doesn't feel the same way. I cant keep trying anymore. I don't have the energy to do it anymore. I cant have my heart stood on anymore."

"Has he said he doesn't love you?"

"He said he couldn't do it."

"He couldn't do it then. He couldn't let you talk to him about how much you love him. He doesn't want to go to Avalon as much as he did. Wonder why?" I was silent again. "He can leave this town. He can leave his family, he can leave Namine, but there's one thing that he doesn't want to leave." My heart becomes lighter, but I don't want to get my hope us. "He doesn't want to leave you."

The last thing I see is the ground.

XxXxX 

"Kairi. Kairi."

Oh my dear gods. I feel like the Destiny City earthquake is replaying in my mind.

"Kairi. Are you okay?" Opening my eyes, the first thing I see is Sora. That's enough to sober anyone up. Shooting up I look around the room, only to clutch my head in pain.

"Ouch."

"No wonder. You hit your head pretty hard." I look at him and raise an eyebrow.

"Well done Sherlock."

"Listen, you need to speak to Roxas."

"I cant deal with this right now. In case you haven't noticed, I feel like the earth is exploding in my head! I cant deal with Roxas too."

"He's leaving tomorrow. Its now or never."

"I thought you hated Roxas."

"I…Its hard to explain."

"We have another hour." Sora looked at me and sighed.

"You'll hate me."

"You don't think that I already do?"

"I …I hated him because of how close he was to you. He got as close to you as I wanted to be. And I hated him for it. And I hated him because you loved him and not me."

"Sora-"

"Don't. You wanted him and not me, so I hated him because I couldn't hate you. When I came back, and you will still in love with him, it hit me how much I still loved you. I might have said that I was over you, but I was far from it. I knew Namine cared for me before I left, so I…I decided to take you back. Roxas didn't deserve you, even as just a friend. So I told Namine I loved her and told her to break up with Roxas.

"She didn't agree. So I told her that you loved him. Then she hated you. You always got everything and she had the one thing that you couldn't have. Yet you still wanted it. Revenge is sweet. So she told Roxas. Maybe not how I planned but she still told him. And then he hated you. Namine got hurt but it was something I'd deal with later. But now…I want you to talk with Roxas because you're hurting. I cant stand to see you like this and if being with Roxas makes you happy, I've just got to accept it, even though it kills me."

This must be the first time I've been rendered speechless.

"I…I don't know what to say. I…why?"

"People do stupid things when they're in love." As much as I hate to admit it, he was right.

"What time is he leaving tomorrow?"

"Five."

"Okay, that gives me enough time to get my act together and see him."

"Five am Kai."

"What?!" Leaping up from the chair, trying to ignore my headache, I reach for my bag and my coat, stuffing my letter in its pocket.

"What time is it?"

"Eleven."

"Eleven! Where the hell is my mum? And Namine?"

"Your mums car broke down, she called about half an hour ago, and Namine is at Yuffie's."

"I cant do this."

"You can. You love him."

"But does he love me?" Sora was silent. "I cant do it again. I cant go through it."

"Then do it so you can make sure."

"How the hell am I going to get through this?"

"You're Kairi. You'll think of a way." I smile at him.

"I'm sorry."

"Don't be. Without you, he might not know, and I might not be doing this for another two years. Maybe never."

I look at him once last time before I leave the house. This is the last time I might ever speak to him. This is the last chance I'll get to tell him how I feel.

I would so much rather be facing a pack of lions.

XxXxX

I know it isn't as long as some people would have wanted, but I hope it will do for now. The next chapter will be the last. But I have thoroughly enjoyed writing this story as it was my first Roxiri. But I am still in the process of another called 'Goodbye my Lover' if you want to check that one out. So, for now…Ciao xx


	10. The Curtain Closes

I think this one is long overdue. I hope you enjoy…

Disclaimer: I hope I don't have to bother…

XxXxX

Chapter 10

The whole 'facing a pack of lions' thing still stands.

My stomach wont stay still and my heart is going at 50 mph. I spot his house as I turn a corner. I could easily turn back now, let him go and let him move on…whilst regretting not saying anything for the rest of my days.

Walking up to his front door, I pause before I let my fist hit the door. Looking through the window, I see him sitting on the stool. He's flicking through an old photo album that I remember giving to him because he wouldn't shut up about having no where to put his photographs. I smile at the thought and then realise what I was going to do is stupid. He's going to Avalon and its not like I can stop him. Sighing in defeat, I let my fist drop to my side and turn away. Its all for the best.

"Kairi?"

Turing, I see him standing in the door way. Stupid mental thoughts. Too preoccupied to hear him.

"Hey. I just wanted to say bye…so bye." Turing back, I close my eyes and mental slap myself. I could have thought of something better to say, couldn't I?

"Don't go." Stopping, and making sure I heard him right, I turn back to face him.

"Why not?"

"Just come in. You're freezing and wet." I follow him into the house as he closes the door. "Give me your coat. I'll go get a towel for your hair." He walks into the kitchen, leaving me standing there. I walk into the sitting room and glance at the photo album. It was full of pictures from when we were at the beach last summer. I smile as I look at the one of me and Roxas. I have that one too. The better days. "I got you a coffee too."

"Thanks," I mumble, taking a sip then cursing as it burnt my tongue.

"Its hot."

"Really?" I shout at myself as I see the look on his face. "Why did you call me in? Its not like we're the best of friends now."

"You're always going to be my best friend."

"Yeah, you made that so clear these past few days."

"Don't Kairi."

"Why not? Give me one good reason why I shouldn't react like this?"

"Because I need to explain myself."

"You don't have to explain. I get it. You don't love me like I love you. I got it crystal clear in the café."

"I didn't mean to be like that."

"Of course you didn't mean to give me the cold shoulder."

"I was confused."

"I don't give one Roxas." He steps back away from me in shock. "I don't care if you were confused. How do you think I've been feeling?"

"Don't make this any worse for me than it already is."

"Enlighten me Roxas. How can this be bad for you?"

"Because I'm not sure what I feel for you." What a way to shut me up. He was always a good mover. I sit on the couch as he sits opposite me. "I was shocked and confused, so I shut everyone out until I could sort myself out first. I didn't expect it. I didn't expect for my best friend to turn around to me and say she loved me. And for 2 years too. And my girlfriend of 2 years had just told me she loved my brother. Can you see where I'd get slightly confused?

"Namine. I could deal with. There had always been this nagging thought in the back of my mind that she felt something for Sora. But I never wanted to develop that thought because things seemed to be going so well. 2 years and we were going to go to university together. But then…then you said you loved me…and everything started spinning."

You want to know something that's spinning right now? My head.

"What if those 2 years had been a waste? Why didn't I play on my first thoughts? Why didn't I see the signs? Why did I keep ignoring them?"

"Roxas, what are you talking about?" Ignoring my question, he carries on.

"I didn't love her at the start. I began to love her. Or maybe it wasn't her that I fell in love with. Maybe it was the idea of someone being there. It wasn't her to begin with, but I ignored it, hoping it would go away, but it didn't. It just stayed there in the back of my brain…in the back of my heart…dormant."

"Roxas."

"You know when we became friends?"

"Yeah."

"There was one thing that I always kept from you."

"What?" I ask quietly, hesitant of hearing his reply.

"That I loved someone, and it wasn't Namine." What a way to cheer me up Roxie, tell me that there was someone else too. What a way to repair my broken heart.

"I don't want to know Roxas." I feel the tears prick my eyes as I stand up. "If you think this is helping me, then you're wrong, so wrong. How can it help me to tell me that there was someone else you loved too?"

"You might want to know," Roxas replied, standing up to meet me.

"I don't think so."

"Its someone you know."

"That makes me feel a million times better."

"Someone you know really well."

"Why, this is the best news I've had all year," I reply sarcastically.

"Kairi." The softness of his voice shuts me up. "Remember that chain I got you for your birthday?" I nod. "Don't you think it was a bit too much for someone who was only meant to be a friend?"

"I thought you were being nice."

"Too nice," he laughs. "That cost me a fortune. To get it I didn't spend as much on Namine as I wanted."

"Nice move…the whole guilt trip thing."

"I'm not trying to do that, I'm trying to make you realise. I've always spent more time with you than I have Namine. I always put you before her when it should be the other way around. If you ask, I come running. If you cry, I want to be the shoulder you do it on. If you laugh, I have to be there to hear it because my day isn't right if I don't hear it."

"Roxas…what are you-"

"Don't you get it Kairi? I didn't until after the café. It was you all along. I loved Namine because she was someone who could be there. I loved Namine because I couldn't come to terms with the fact I loved my best friend, my girlfriends sister." I drop the coffee mug I'm holding. "Isn't that a laugh? I love my best friend who is my ex-girlfriends sister and my brother loves her too."

For some reason, I have a weird de-ja-vou vibe.

"Roxas-"

"I want to say sorry for not saying anything. I didn't know you felt like that. I'll understand if you cant stand the sight of me after what I put you through, but after 2 years, I felt like I had to tell you. Because in my opinion, its 2 years too late and I couldn't wait any longer."

I could pinch myself right now just to check that this isn't a dream.

"Please, just say something Kairi."

Oh god, help me say something that makes sense. Anything, just something he can understand.

"Roxas…I…I-".

"Three words. Just say them to me and I wont leave. I wont go to Avalon."

"But that's what you want. For the past 2 years that's where you've wanted to go."

"But I want you more." I smile as a tear slides down my cheek.

"Say it to me. Those words."

"I love you Kairi Clarkson." I smile as more tears roll down my face. "So god damn much." I laugh and throw my arms around him, hanging on for dear life.

"I love you too." I feel him smile against my neck. "So god damn much." He laughs as he pulls away to face me. His smile…Leaning forward, he places those lips on mine. This is what I've been waiting for. And so help me god, I will not waste this moment.

XxXxX 

So we then got married, didn't bother going to college and had lots and lots of children…

And I hope you realise that I'm kidding. The baby isn't due until June.

And I'm kidding again.

Roxas left for Avalon and I left for Destiny Art University. We see each other as often as we can. And we're still very much in love. We're going to move back home after university and get an apartment together.

Namine went to Avalon too, but hasn't spoken to Roxas since that night a year ago. He speaks to Sora when he has to. He's still his brother after all. And because of some persuasion on my part. If Sora hadn't of come to see me that night, then Roxas and I might not be where we are now. And he isn't that much of a jerk after all.

Mine and Roxas' one year anniversary is tomorrow. He's flying in to see me for the weekend.

So things turned out pretty good, even if it was a pain in the arse getting here. But I wouldn't change any of it, because its just made me love him even more because I've realised how special he is to me.

And that maybe falling in love with your best friend isn't that bad of an idea.

XxXxX

Sniff…I hope you liked it. xxx


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